Left Brain, Right Brain

Tower Bridge, The Shard, and a red bus

I’m freshly returned from London after taking another exam in my monumental effort to earn my WSET Diploma (Wine & Spirit Education Trust). If you don’t know, the diploma is perhaps the toughest wine exam—series of exams, really—there is in the world after the Master of Wine (MW) and the Master Sommelier (MS) exams. The difference between those two is that students in the former are on the more academic track, involving research and developing specific expertise in the field and the latter are the true wine influencers of the world. These are the folks that craft the wine lists for Michelin starred restaurants, four-star hotel chains and resorts, cruise lines, and set the trends in the world of wine. If you’ve ever seen any of the SOMM films, those guys were pursuing their Master Sommelier. The MWs are the people who often write for Decanter or Wine Spectator, write academic papers, and are often teaching very high level courses in the field.

I don’t work in the restaurant business, or “on the floor” as the parlance goes, so I am unqualified to be more than an introductory sommelier, (yes, I am) but the Diploma takes so much more to achieve. My track terminates with the MW of which the WSET diploma is the requisite level to qualify to begin. To give you some idea of the difficulty and rarity of these certifications, there are 13,000+ individuals who have obtained their diploma, but there are only 418 Masters of Wine, living in 30 different countries (Only 517 people have passed the MW exam since 1953). Equally rare, since the first Master Sommelier exam given in 1969, a worldwide total of 282 people have earned the MS diploma, the highest level. The WSET Diploma takes roughly three years to complete the six sections (some do it faster, but I ain’t that smart), and the MW at least an additional five years. 

If you read this blog, you’ll remember that I took a previous exam back in October. I still don’t know if I passed that or not. On average, it takes about six weeks to find out results, but last year there was some kind of issue with the WSET systems and they announced that results wouldn’t come until the end of January. Hey, that’s now. What gives? So, I am now in the unenviable position of waiting for the results of two exams, the very definition of being left hanging.

I can tell you that I study my ass off. Literally every day I am doing some number of hours of study. The world of wine is a bottomless black hole of angst and frustration. It’s saving grace is that I get to drink the stuff. 

Last Wednesday in London, I sat down to take my exam, the clock struck 1:00pm on the dot and I tore open the test packet to read the questions. There were three, weighted 40%, 35%, and 25% which indicates roughly how you might divide the precious time you are allowed to handwrite your answers. All three of them were truly WTF moments for me. How can I study for literally months on end, every day, walk in, sit down and read the questions and be immediately flooded with doubt and a lack of knowledge? Oh, did I mention that in addition to this theory portion, there are also three wines sitting in front of you? You have no idea what they are, but it is your job to assess them, determine what they are, how they were made, using which grapes, and determine their quality, all in an officially acceptable vocabulary that you must master, and all under tremendous time constraints. You can’t say it smells like the sweaty socks from inside rubber Nike’s and expect to get a good grade. This is a professional organization and a professional level exam. 

I dug hard. Probing the deepest depths of my subconscious to find the kernels of knowledge that I knew were in my aging brain and pulled detailed and logical answers that I think will get me a passing grade. Same for the tasting portion. Ultimately, you have to clear your mind and elevate your palate and tongue and listen to what they are telling you and then connect that information back to the databank of aromas and flavors that you have accumulated over the past few months, or in my case, decades. 

And then you wait for weeks to find out if you passed or if you need to retake.

Why? Why, you are thinking. Why, you are asking yourself. Why is he doing this? Why did Alex Honnold just climb Taipei 101 this week (aside from the money)? Because it’s hard. It’s there to be conquered. It gives my life some purpose and structure now that I am no longer working. But most of all, because I love it. I dream of the day I will graduate and walk in the ceremony to receive the recognition that I did it.

On the Underground back to Heathrow, I met two American ladies who were struggling with the signage and trying to figure out where they were and what train they needed to get to their terminal. We struck up a conversation after I helped them and by the end of the ride, I had shared my contact info with them so they could reach back out to me later in the year because they wanted me to guide them on a private tour in France of a specific wine region where I have experience and contacts. All the years of studying, tests, and wine travel, my expertise can now be shared professionally. 

Raining in London? Nooo.

If wine is the left brain activity I’ve devoted half of my life to, then you all know photography is the right. In London, I took my camera with me to the test and hid it in my coat. Once I was released from the exam and I felt the weight of months of pressure lift away, my only desire was to go out and make photographs. I wandered central London for several hours into the evening before finally giving in to my hunger and sitting down at a Spanish restaurant. I sat and ate while eavesdropping on all of the tables that were close by while enjoying several different tapas and, of course, some amazing Spanish wine. I love hearing British accents (I think a lot of us Americans are preternaturally tuned to them and they do bring us joy). The table to the right said “Innit?” about a hundred times. Everything is a question and needs confirmation, even when it isn’t or doesn’t.

I had the entire next day free. I awoke early, went down to have breakfast in the hotel, and then hit the streets. It was pouring out. That’s always the way, innit? I did not care. I have learned that wet streets create beautiful reflections, saturated colors, misty skies, and other moodiness that make for great photographs. 

I liked the juxtaposition of generations in this photograph. This man was kind enough to let me capture it.

Fifteen thousand steps later, and deeply satisfied, and rather sore, I returned to my hotel. After a quick review of the images I knew I had a few gems in there, some perhaps book-worthy. For dinner, I went to a French bistro. Of course I did, didn’t I?

Speaking of books! I approved the final proofs on my next book, Let’s Been There, this morning. They looked so good. I read the essay five times hunting for typos. I read every caption twice, front and back. The cover will be cloth bound with foil debossed typography and a tipped image. It’s 192 pages and will be beautifully printed on a Heidelberg press on heavy silk paper. It features 90 images from all the places I’ve been over the past few years. I have to say, I am so proud of this book and I can't wait to share it with you and the world.

Printer’s proof from the title page

We’re setting up our US distribution now and soon the order page will be up on this very blog. You can count on me to let you know ad nauseam. 

After writing fifty of these essays (yes, this is number 50), and getting 15,000 page views (not bad for a little blog), I am very grateful to you all for reading, for your comments, and your support. I feel like you’ve been right along on this journey with us.